What is Love and Logic Parenting?

I talk to a lot of parents who are interested in finding out more about Love and Logic. Some are concerned about a rambunctious two-year-old who is throwing food at the dinner table. Others are in crisis because a 16-year-old has decided that school doesn't matter any more. Many are unsure how to discipline their children when it becomes clear that their own parents' methods just won't work like they used to.

Parenting has never been an easy job, and it seems to be getting tougher. The world has changed for kids, and parents are caught between old methods and new situations. A generation ago kids spent a good deal of their growing up time outside, unsupervised by their parents. We traveled by bicycle, hung out in parks and playgrounds, and came home when the streetlights came on or we heard mom calling us to dinner.

It's a different world now. Kids are now transported in minivans to supervised sporting activities by anxious adults who wouldn't think of letting them out of their sight. Between trips, it's an inside world, with round-the-clock children's programming on television, computer tutors and video games that serve as electronic baby sitters. Is it any wonder that children tend to not listen to their parents?

Love and Logic doesn't have all the answers to change society, or any intention to try. The goal is really to help parents enjoy being a parent and for kids to learn how to be responsible and prepare for life in the "real world." There are two rules we start with in Love and Logic:

Rule One: Parents take good care of themselves.
Rule Two: Parents let empathy and consequences do the teaching for them. (Rather than anger and punishment).

Love and Logic is a simple philosophy, but it's not easy. When we're under stress, our own parents voices tend to jump out of our mouths and we say things we swore we would never say to our own kids. We need to retrain ourselves and, most of all, mom and dad need to be on the same page about how to go about the all-important job of parenting.

Over the years I've found that the Love and Logic principles have served me well, though their application has changed as my children grew. Teenagers are a lot like toddlers, only bigger. Kids feel comfortable when they know that their parents set firm limits for them to push against. Parenting is still the toughest, most important and most rewarding job there is.